The Big C

Many people talk about the 4 C’s of a diamond – cut, carat, clarity and certification. Some ladies put a lot of emphasis on carat, cut and clarity, while others want certification. I know of a friend who insisted on a Tiffany because she wanted the name and certification, and didn’t mind settling for a smaller carat.

I think certification is only important if you’re planning to sell your ring in future, but who plans to sell their wedding ring before they even get hitched? That’s like going into a marriage with the back door open. 😯

I also read somewhere that the size of the carat represents how much you love a girl. Seriously, if your man earns less than RM3,000 a month, how can you expect a big rock from him? Maybe a real rock (as in ‘batu’) then can lah! For guys who earn more than RM30,000, sorry you’re on your own.

When rif popped the question, I thought (and still think) the ring he gave me was gorgeous. The first thing that came to my mind was “OMG he really wants to marry me!”. Not “OMG look at the cut, carat and clarity of this rock!”.

I only started thinking about the 4 C’s when a former pageant mate mentioned to me that pageant girls deserve a larger carat and it should have been a Tiffany. As a former pageant girl, there is a part of me that is shallow, materialistic and self-centred. Beauty pageants cultivate that in a person, so don’t believe all that you watch on TV. But I’m not blaming pageants for my shallowness; I’m solely responsible for that.

Since then, I started being conscious about the carat of my stone. Which is really stupid, because a ring should only be a symbol of a union. It shouldn’t represent the union. A man can give you a really huge rock with all the 4 C’s you want, but what he might not afford to give you is the final C.

COMMITMENT.

I’ve been to weddings where the girl marries the rich guy of her dreams and she got a large, brilliantly cut engagement ring and a matching eternity wedding band. One would think she would live happily ever after with him. She did not. He’s more committed to his career and social life. She was less important to him than the first two.

How can one live with being second best? Or in this girl’s case, third best? I would rather have a simple ring but all his devotion, commitment and fidelity. I want my husband by my side at night, cuddling me to sleep. That to me, is way better than cuddling a huge (and hard) diamond ring to sleep while the side of his bed is cold and empty. How can one sleep well at night?

I will admit – the 4 C’s are also important to me and the (shallow side) of me wish for a larger rock sometimes. But I always remind myself that commitment is what I should seek for in a marriage, together with his care and consideration. And I’m happy to report that rif has been nothing less than a great husband!