Home Uncategorized Malaysian Drivers

Since my office moved location, I have no choice but to drive to work. After more than a year of taking the LRT, I forgot how horrendous some Malaysian drivers can be during rush hour traffic. Going to work is fine, but coming home takes me almost an hour and sometimes, two hours if the traffic is shitty.


Here are 10 annoying types of drivers I encounter when I’m on the road. Do you know anyone (or are you guilty?!) who fit into any of the categories?


Schumacher Wannabe
If you’re driving a Ferrari or Skyline, then fine. But I’m talking about huge lorry and truck drivers that go at 110km/h on an 80km/h highway. And often, they try to kiss your car butt and you can’t file for sexual harassment. And I hate it when they use their bright lights to tell you to get out of their way or they will run you over. Don’t even get me started on the ‘flying stones’ from their tyres that can potentially crack your windscreen and scratch your car.

These people claim that they are ‘safe’ drivers, but I think they might as well stay at home. Seriously, driving 35km/h in an 80km/h zone is ridiculous. Other cars might risk colliding with this slow-mo, or hit another car when they try to swerve away from the lane with this tortoise in front. Usually “P” drivers or folks over 70.

No-Signal Driver
I often wonder if these people don’t know how to use their signal indicator or if they are ‘kiam siap’ and want to save on car battery when changing lanes. These drivers are the most common ones on the road, and they annoy the hell out of me. Imagine you’re at a road junction and you encounter such morons.

These people cause a lot of accidents, usually involving the drivers behind them in the lanes they are squeezing into. They try to squeeze their not-so-small car into a space between two cars that is the same length as their own car on a highway. Not so clever and this category comprises plenty of aunties (read Mak Datin).

Parking Lot Tortoise
Imagine you’re late for work or a meeting, and the car in front of you moves at 8km/h or less in the parking lots. Probably the same people who take their own sweet time exiting shopping malls – often female. You know, the kind that gets into the car and starts fixing their hair and makeup when another car is waiting for their parking lot? To be fair, they don’t cause accidents but are mainly a nuisance. Move it already!


Mak Rempit Kereta
They honk at you whenever they have to brake. They are the first to beat the red light and will squeeze and snake around your car. While doing so, they might end up scratching your car or breaking your side mirrors.

Goody Two Shoe
These are people who try to be good ALL THE TIME. Too much of it can be annoying. Common traits include giving leeway to way too many cars and holding back the cars behind during that process and slowing down the car for jay-walkers (I would drive faster to scare the living shit out of these jaywalkers!). These drivers also stop at stop sign for a good 10 seconds to ensure no car is coming, and that no pedestrian is crossing the road.

“So What” Asshole
We all hate this kind – often middle aged male drivers who own an imported car or SUV and cuts in and out of traffic like the road belongs to their grandfather. These people don’t know the meaning of “queue up” and tend to glare at you or show you the middle finger if you are in the way.


Mak Datin/Tai Tai
Often the wife of the category above, they don’t give two shits about others on the road. They love to drive in the middle of two lanes and are very prone to accidents. You can spot them easily – large sunglasses and arm sleeves to protect them for the sun. And they seriously need to learn how to park (and drive properly)!


You’re stuck in a horrendous jam and suddenly you hear sirens from police motorbikes asking you to get out of the way because it’s official/government business. A few dark coloured, insanely expensive sedan cars (funded by our taxes) drive past … and turn into a residential area/shopping mall. Official business my bekside. That VIP’s emergency is that he needs to take a big shit.

So these are ten Malaysian drivers that piss the living daylights out of me. Wait for the motorcyclist category soon. Drive safe and be careful. Chinese New Year is around the corner and a lot of people are waiting for their ‘kopi money’. Someone throw cat shit at them please.

Picture credit: www.google.com

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