The wedding preparations haven’t been easy on Wei Jien and myself. The stress, the cost, the details, problems we’ve encountered working with people, so on and so forth. I’m so irritated with what’s going on it makes me snappy. And please don’t tell me to relax and enjoy the process. It hasn’t been fun.
I always thought I will be an easy-going bride who’s not particular about details, wedding dress, etc. But I was so wrong!
Everything matters to me, from the ballroom and F&B, right up to our wedding outfits. And don’t even get me started on make-up and hair. I’ll share some of my problems here and hopefully, future brides can learn from this.
I’m really irritated at my parents, I don’t even want to talk to them right now. They wanted to have the wedding dinner at GD (I’ll call it GD to avoid potential lawsuits) long before Wei Jien popped the question. It’s partly because my mum’s friend’s children got married there. Since when do older people succumb to peer pressure?!
When Wei Jien asked them for permission to marry me, they started talking about booking the ballroom at GD. If you don’t believe me, you can ask him. I’m not keen on GD because I don’t like the location and it’s not exactly an ideal wedding venue — think old carpets, old chandeliers and old linen. For a hotel to charge RM2K (after tax and service charge) per table, it should be in the city and of 5-star standard; not 4-star. In GD’s case, I don’t think it deserves 4-star.
Because we have so many guests, not many hotels can accommodate us. The only hotels that can are Mandarin Oriental, Hilton Kuala Lumpur, Sunway Hotel Resort & Spa, One World Hotel and GD. The first two hotels are hot favourites among brides, so the next available dates are in March/April 2012 (when I called to enquire in December 2010). Sunway Hotel wasn’t available on November 19, because that date is apparently an auspicious date to get married. For some ridiculous reason, my parents didn’t want a hotel attached to a shopping mall, claiming that it will be noisy, the jam is bad…that kind of b*llshit. GD no traffic jam is it?
Places like Prince Hotel, JW Marriot, Ritz-Carlton, Le Meridien, Sheraton Imperial and The Westin cannot accommodate 650 people. I told my parents to keep it small but they insisted on having 35-40 tables. Wei Jien’s parents are taking 15 tables. I have 5 tables and Wei Jien is taking 5 tables himself. As of today (March 24, 2011), we only have 55-57 tables because my parent’s relatives who are overseas cannot attend the wedding. Also, I’m pretty sure another 10-15% of the people they invited will not be attending the dinner. So that makes it about 500 pax. I’m seriously pissed right now, because we can fit 50 tables in Sheraton Imperial and JW Marriot, which is way better than GD if you ask me.
Wei Jien and I were considering Bukit Kiara Equestrian Club or Noble Banquet because they are more affordable and the food is somewhat tastier. When we spoke to my parents about it (I’m only talking about my parents here, because his parents are a lot more carefree), they didn’t agree. For the sheer fact that my father wanted ‘face’ because he’s inviting his business partners and friends. So we had no choice but to settle for GD, the hotel of their choice.
After booking the hotel, my parents had the cheek to tell me that they did it for me, because they thought I wanted a hotel and because they didn’t want to stress Wei Jien out with the wedding cost. (roll eyes) If they were that considerate, they would have agreed to have the wedding at Bukit Kiara or Noble House. And now they want to act all noble….as though they did us a favour by choosing GD.
I initially had an emcee (a friend offered to do it as a wedding gift). But due to a miscommunication with the wedding planner’s assistant and him, I now have no emcee. I’m annoyed at the assistant, but I’m more annoyed at my friend because he didn’t even give me a chance to explain things.
Our wedding planner went to Las Vegas for a month, leaving us in the good hands of her assistant, who wasn’t so sure about things. She is a really nice girl, but I am a difficult bride. Fortunately, our wedding planner is back from her trip and she just gave us a proposal, which comprised things we liked, and things we didn’t like. At least we liked half of what she had to suggest. Of course, we didn’t like the wedding budget, so Wei Jien (being the auditor he is) has asked that she revise it accordingly.
Since we have no $$ left for anything, we were looking for an affordable ROM venue. When I say affordable, I mean RM25 per person inclusive of drinks. I initially wanted to do it at my house, but it won’t be that cheap as I have to fork out extra $$ for tents, chairs, food, etc.
I wanted to have my ROM at my favourite hangout place in PJ. But since both our I.Cs bear a KL address, we can only have the ROM in KL. I’m annoyed that the planner didn’t tell me this earlier.
If you think like this friend of mine who told me to ‘just go to Putrajaya and register your marriage there”, you’re missing out on the point. The wedding dinner belongs to my parents. But the ROM is mine and I’m going to make sure I have it my way.
My parents are not paying for this so they have no say on what I do with my ROM. In fact, I’m tempted to not invite them because I’m that angry with them. They already decided on the wedding dinner venue — I’m not letting them ruin my ROM with their constant comments and silly suggestions. I might change my mind when things are looking better, but for now, I won’t be letting my parents anywhere near my ROM planning.
The Hotel — GD
I almost drove to the hotel to strangle the liaison manager (let’s call her A) yesterday. She will be leaving the hotel soon, and left me in the good hands of her new and inexperienced colleague. This new wedding coordinator was formerly in the oil and gas industry, and she’s in charge of my wedding?! I flipped. Big time.
My wedding planner met them a few days ago but didn’t want to tell me about it until she finalised a few things. And also because she knew I would react this way. But A emailed me informing me of the change and I lost my cool. I think she was shocked, because when I met her to pay for the deposit in December 2010, I was really nice.
See, she informed my wedding planner that if we rented GD’s projector and sound system, we would need to hire help to get it up and running. What the hell for? I’m renting the LCD projector for RM1,250++ (per unit), and GD can’t even supply the manpower? I asked A about this and got really pissed off when she said this, “You can ask your family members to play the slideshow for you”.
When I told her that was a ridiculous suggestion, she then proceeded to tell me to get one of my friends to do it. That was when I went ballistic on her. I mean, seriously?! People go to weddings to enjoy themselves, not to play slideshows. And they give ang pow for what? To work the big screen the whole night?! Moron.
So I gave her an earful for 20 minutes. I know I was a bitch, but she hit a lot of my nerves. I felt slightly guilty later on, but when I recall the stupid things she said, I didn’t feel that bad yelling at her. A, you seriously need to learn to think carefully before blurting out preposterous suggestions to your clients.
I’ll leave this mess to my wedding planner to fix. And hopefully, I’ll have a smooth-flowing wedding reception come November 19.
To all the girls out there:
If you want a fairytale wedding, I suggest you think again. Is the stress worth it? I’m not even doing a fairytale wedding, and my wedding already cost slightly over RM200,000! I should have just eloped.
Wedding blog HERE.