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January 9, 2013

Malaysian Drivers

Since my office moved location, I have no choice but to drive to work. After more than a year of taking the LRT, I forgot how horrendous some Malaysian drivers can be during rush hour traffic. Going to work is fine, but coming home takes me almost an hour and sometimes, two hours if the traffic is shitty.

bad-driving

Here are 10 annoying types of drivers I encounter when I’m on the road. Do you know anyone (or are you guilty?!) who fit into any of the categories?

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Schumacher Wannabe
If you’re driving a Ferrari or Skyline, then fine. But I’m talking about huge lorry and truck drivers that go at 110km/h on an 80km/h highway. And often, they try to kiss your car butt and you can’t file for sexual harassment. And I hate it when they use their bright lights to tell you to get out of their way or they will run you over. Don’t even get me started on the ‘flying stones’ from their tyres that can potentially crack your windscreen and scratch your car.

Slow-mo
These people claim that they are ‘safe’ drivers, but I think they might as well stay at home. Seriously, driving 35km/h in an 80km/h zone is ridiculous. Other cars might risk colliding with this slow-mo, or hit another car when they try to swerve away from the lane with this tortoise in front. Usually “P” drivers or folks over 70.

No-Signal Driver
I often wonder if these people don’t know how to use their signal indicator or if they are ‘kiam siap’ and want to save on car battery when changing lanes. These drivers are the most common ones on the road, and they annoy the hell out of me. Imagine you’re at a road junction and you encounter such morons.

Squeezer
These people cause a lot of accidents, usually involving the drivers behind them in the lanes they are squeezing into. They try to squeeze their not-so-small car into a space between two cars that is the same length as their own car on a highway. Not so clever and this category comprises plenty of aunties (read Mak Datin).

Parking Lot Tortoise
Imagine you’re late for work or a meeting, and the car in front of you moves at 8km/h or less in the parking lots. Probably the same people who take their own sweet time exiting shopping malls – often female. You know, the kind that gets into the car and starts fixing their hair and makeup when another car is waiting for their parking lot? To be fair, they don’t cause accidents but are mainly a nuisance. Move it already!

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Mak Rempit Kereta
They honk at you whenever they have to brake. They are the first to beat the red light and will squeeze and snake around your car. While doing so, they might end up scratching your car or breaking your side mirrors.

Goody Two Shoe
These are people who try to be good ALL THE TIME. Too much of it can be annoying. Common traits include giving leeway to way too many cars and holding back the cars behind during that process and slowing down the car for jay-walkers (I would drive faster to scare the living shit out of these jaywalkers!). These drivers also stop at stop sign for a good 10 seconds to ensure no car is coming, and that no pedestrian is crossing the road.

“So What” Asshole
We all hate this kind – often middle aged male drivers who own an imported car or SUV and cuts in and out of traffic like the road belongs to their grandfather. These people don’t know the meaning of “queue up” and tend to glare at you or show you the middle finger if you are in the way.

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Mak Datin/Tai Tai
Often the wife of the category above, they don’t give two shits about others on the road. They love to drive in the middle of two lanes and are very prone to accidents. You can spot them easily – large sunglasses and arm sleeves to protect them for the sun. And they seriously need to learn how to park (and drive properly)!

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VIP/Menteri/Royalty
You’re stuck in a horrendous jam and suddenly you hear sirens from police motorbikes asking you to get out of the way because it’s official/government business. A few dark coloured, insanely expensive sedan cars (funded by our taxes) drive past … and turn into a residential area/shopping mall. Official business my bekside. That VIP’s emergency is that he needs to take a big shit.

So these are ten Malaysian drivers that piss the living daylights out of me. Wait for the motorcyclist category soon. Drive safe and be careful. Chinese New Year is around the corner and a lot of people are waiting for their ‘kopi money’. Someone throw cat shit at them please.

Picture credit: www.google.com

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17 Responses

  1. ulric

    My pet hates are Slow-mo, No-Signal Driver and Mak Datin/Tai Tai. =)

    Slow-mo…stick to the goddamn leftmost lane. Dun stick ur ass to the middle lane.

    No-Signal Driver…what are ur signal lights for? For u to admire…ass!

    Mak Datin/Tai Tai…I know u r indecisive…but can u make up ur goddamn mind???

    1. Bangsar Babe

      But don’t you just HATE those VIP entourages??!

      1. ulric

        Cose I dun encounter them often lar!…hehe :P

  2. Like your ‘terus terang’ comments!
    I often come across
    “Schumacher Wannabe” – often are buses and lorries…rushing to ‘reborn’.
    The “Slow-mo”..as though they are going for an evening drive..but occupying the middle lane.

    “No-Signal Driver”….wait wait n waited at bz junction…only to know these people turn into d junction without putting a signal. (They must have bought a car with a rosak signal lights!).

    “Parking Lot Tortoise” memang take their own sweet time to unload their shopping goods..in and out from car..as if we owe them.

    At last the “VIP/Menteri/Royalty” which I think its quite dangerous. Imagine people are driving fast…and they have to suddenly swerve aside for them. Also…why they can drive beyond the required speed limit wan?!

    1. Bangsar Babe

      Ya lor. The VIP ones never follow the law. These are probably the same people who make up the rules but never follow them.

  3. Not forgetting the annoying “I’m dai sai” motorcyclist who likes to ride in the middle of the lane and hog the whole lane as though their vehicle on 2 wheels is so huge they need the whole lane and don’t even have the courtesy to move to the side when there’s car driving behind them.. and and and they drive so slow feels like driving over them with my small car!

    1. Bangsar Babe

      Hahaha!! Yeah. Those rempits deserve a whole blog post on how bad they are. Wakakaka… :P

  4. Quite a comprehensive list! Bus drivers are also a pet peeve for me, since the roads I take are quite clogged with buses. And they do have a ‘king of the road’ mentality =)

    1. Bangsar Babe

      Yes, bus drivers (and taxi drivers too!) can be a huge pain. Good thing the area where I’m working doesn’t have that many buses or taxis!

  5. Kash

    I agree with all your points, my most hated one is the VIP motorcade. But don’t mind me adding something, people who don’t use the proper lane and indicate at a roundabout!

    1. Bangsar Babe

      High 5! Thanks for adding. :)

  6. Oh god those drivers without turning on signals when needed irritates me the most.
    Imagine you are going fast on your lane and the car suddenly goes into your lane fast w/o signalling, break hard and let them ‘sneak in’. Gosh signalling will die meh

    1. Bangsar Babe

      YES!!! As if they got no $$ to buy car battery. Wtf…

  7. The second most irritating ones are none other than motorcyclists. Trying to show S shape or 8 shape driving skills like a snake. When we hit them because of them waving in and out, they blame us much. The law here also allowed them too much freedom to be king of the road.

    1. Bangsar Babe

      Hate that the law protects them. They get away with almost anything.

  8. 200% agreed with u! Hate those no signal driver, if you no need it just take it out from your car, idiots!

  9. jay

    Good two shoe is actually the correct way of driving… but the stop thing could be done sooner instead of 10 second. One of the reasons i hate is when youre at a jalan rosak, and the cara behind keep pushing you… if my car rosak like they gonna pay.. dah la spare parts are expensive.. let alone buying a new car… perhaps im just saying this because im still a student. maybe id be ok when i start to earn my own money

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